Your husband’s finally doing some of the things you’ve been asking for, and now there’s this little expectation that you should be feeling… appreciative.
You are appreciative. The kitchen looks great. You still don’t want to have sex.
Now what? Are you being unfair? Is your body supposed to have received an update when he unloaded the dishwasher?
This is where “but he’s trying” can get complicated. You can notice the effort and still need time. Especially if you’re not sure whether your husband’s taking responsibility for your shared life or just waiting to see whether his new routine produces the results he had in mind. And honestly, it’s hard to relax and enjoy a change when you can feel somebody checking whether it’s working on you yet.
I get into this in my Sex and Desire series, because women already have enough on the list without adding “develop renewed sexual enthusiasm by Thursday.”
Has your husband ever started doing more, then gotten frustrated because you still didn’t want sex? I want to hear how that conversation went.
